I Had Started Living More

Here Comes the New Year !!!

I had always seen people celebrating like crazy… Everyone with their own way to bang the evening. Some Partying hard, Boozing madly, dancing tirelessly. Few just had cool family get together in some hep resort in outskirt of city. I even know of few couple who celebrate it as if its their anniversary.

Above all.. there is so much craziness of “New Year resolution”. I never understood why that day alone give you a chance to create a milestone for yourself. Years passes by… I never bothered to care a damn… Never thought of having a rolling milestone which meant to keep a check on me but finally at the end of year gave me a guilt feeling .. after all it just shows how much I am careless about the promises I made to myself 365 days back…

On the contrary, my beginning of every academic year used to boost me a lot. I still remember the
excitement …. “aaah… one full year to finish the course on time…”
the promises…”I swear I will prepare my notes properly this year may be with alternate blue and black ink”… “No matter what.. I will solve all the exercise of reference book”…
and the hope … “If I do what I planned… I may also TOP this year”
I guess it all started from very beginning .. may be 2nd or 3rd standard with little resolutions of … “I promise I will retain the brown cover on Class work copy till end of the year”… “I will keep my school bag neat and clean with no hidden chocolate wrappers”

To certain extent this story keep continued… even when I turned into adult, mature, grown up LADY 😉

Only difference was… I used to find myself in this re-birth state of mind when I used to switch jobs… New company, new environment, new boss, new appraisal system, new pay package.. sometimes even new city….
again the excitements … “smell of sudden 40% hike with job switch”, “fresh new project with a stable technology stack”
the promises… “In this comp.. I wont be restricted to only coding… I will look ABOVE and BEYOND of it”
and the hope… “Since I haven’t negotiated much during hiring, I am underpaid as per my designation.. my chances of getting good hike is very high”

Amidst all this, new year was merely 1st Jan.
A night to party.. a day off.. may be club it with weekend and go to GOA… catch up on news paper and TV with new year special editions..

This year Story was bit different..
I realized something is changing in me… I was getting excited by “1st Jan”…. I was smelling the winter bloom , a freshness of new beginning. By this time I had realized any of my past promises or resolutions were to constraint myself.. making myself disciplined… in short to make me WHAT IS EXPECTED OUT OF ME.

My senses are opening up … asking me to feel the milestone of LIFE.. a mark of halt to look how i lived my last 365 days.. and how much more I can live in coming 366 days…
I always SPEND 1st Jan, now I want to LIVE 1st Jan.. may just not 1st Jan, but 1st Jan 2008…

Did I told you.. I already made the resolutions to “exercise for 10 mins in the morning”…”1 blog in a month”…. “get in touch with old friends who i didn’t call in last 7-8 months”…..
I am waiting for a bengali new year to come, till then my bong resolutions are on hold … “watching bimal roys and satyajit ray’s movie”… “Finishing at least couple of novel of Bankim Chandra Chottopadhya”
By the way.. when is the Gujarati New Year.. “I have to learn preparing THEPLA”… “want to speak few lines of Gujarati”… “how to wear a Gujarati style sari…”

May be I am asking MORE… May be I have started living MORE…

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