Post dinner she threw her arms around me .. asking her to lift “माम .. गोगी “.
Reluctantly I picked her up, engrossed in my own thought process. Counting the series of failures. Imposing self pity.
I lifted her and hugged her quite like a robot. Senses were dead. While we proceeded towards the bed room, I was collecting her bed time books and in the process was gathering myself.
Read her how honest bubble was, how horse met penguin one day, how numbers did the talking.. pretty mechanically. As if I had packed my emotions and locked them in the bed side drawer.
She then hugged me while lying beside.. “माम … ख़ुश .. happpi happpi”
Trapped emotions started leaking out. “हां .. Happy Happy”. I wasn’t sure I was lying or not. I didn’t matter either. Somethings are beyond truth or lie. They are being said because that is the only possible answer.
She hugged me even more tightly and in few mins she was fast asleep with a faint smile on the left corner of her lips. Felt a sudden breeze of fresh air. Success it was. It plastered a smile on my face giving me the strength to face the day..the next day.
Its amazing how the feeble tiny arms had the strength to gather us.
Kids make us vulnerable all the time, but when needed they can make us strong enough to bounce back. Knowingly or Unknowingly.
Kids do payback. for only they can untrap the locked emotions. For only they can let us be human.